i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
