I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
