I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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