Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
