Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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