Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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