remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
