How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
