Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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