you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
