When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
