I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
