i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He kissed a someone with a penis
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
