Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
