HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
