It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
