Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
