I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
