I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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