My room smells like vodka and shame
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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