I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
