I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sober January is a disaster.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
