Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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