Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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