Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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