I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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