okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
