im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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