Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
