i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
