I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
