i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
