Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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