he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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