do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
