just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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