Welp...herpes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
