i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
