If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
