just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
