Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
