I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ketchup is God's man juice
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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