This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
