i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
