you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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