Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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