I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
