1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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