hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
