i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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